Expectation: I can’t stay the same

Hotel, Scarborough

What vision of beginning again does God have for you?

Looking at the frontage of this hotel it is clear that some residents are more permanent than others. Given the number of nests and the abundance of droppings the seagulls are obviously something of a fixture, the ledges offering a convenient and less in demand alternative to a sea cliff.

Much more transient a presence, a guest draws back the curtains of their room to peer out at the view. On this bright, sunny morning I wonder what their expectations are of the day ahead? At this point in their life, in this place and in this particular moment what are they looking for; what do they most want to experience, discover and savour? Will what lies ahead today diminish or enrich them?

Looking at the image I am mindful of the existential nature of this one moment captured by my camera. One way or another we all stand gazing out at the future, grounded in the particularities of our own story. No one staying in that room will ever see what this person now sees in the unique manner in which they are seeing it.

As I write this I am listening to Vanessa”s Carlton’s song “I can’t stay the same”, which has a wonderfully lyrical repeat of that very phrase, over and again. To me it convey’s the power and pricelessness a life-lesson learned:

I can’t stay the same.

In the song this line is itself followed by a repetition of another revelatory lyric:

“Don't you stop believing

The healer is within

The cycles of the seasons

And we begin again”

Looking out of the window at the autumn leaves, which are now beginning to turn and change colour, this song is particularly apt. It’s truth connects me to the quietly persistent love of God, the healer within. God’s cherishing of my life takes all that is unfinished, misguided and needful and transforms it in a vision of potential realised, a view of my life which I sometimes glimpse but which is known in its entirety to God.

Drawn forward to look out of my ‘stuck-ness’ by the touch of divine grace, I draw back the curtains of my expectation and see the promise of beginning again, of hope shimmering in the corner of my vision and of undeserved expectation beginning to manifest in my soul like a loving smile forming upon my lips.

I can’t stay the same. The healer is within and once more I begin again.